Home and All Alone with Sounds from the Crypt:
Here are some things to quell your fears with
those scary sounds.
THE OWNER of the older home was distraught. "I
heard it again just tonight and I know I'm not
imagining things. There is someone in this
house. Those are footsteps, and someone is
walking from the front of the house to the rear.
I know it." The house in question was being
renovated completely; the upstairs was
unoccupied.
Old houses (and new houses, for that matter)
rarely seem to make sounds when it's bright and
sunny. Only when the night is dark and the
weather gloomy do the noises begin.
The owner had been through a myriad of
"ordinary" scary sounds: The "burglar"
scratching at the windows (a branch moving
slightly in the wind); the hissing boa
constrictor that became annoyed when the heat
came on (a loose radiator valve); the
clackaclacka that surely signaled the imminent
collapse of the house (uneven expansion of
heating pipes as the hot water comes through).
Even even an experienced renovator can find
himself spending a shaky quarter of an hour
chasing the invisible lead-footed intruder
stomping back and forth across the upper floors
of the house. The footsteps were even, solid and
intimidating. Their source turned out to be a
raised seam tin roof lifting slightly in the
wind and falling back into place with a credible
imitation of a second story artist.
If you aren't too busy being frightened by them,
house sounds can tell you where to put your
fix-up efforts and dollars. Here are a few
noteworthy noises:
CLUNKA CLUNKA in the plumbing when the washing
machine shuts off its water supply. When the
automatic valve in the washer snaps shut, the
water expends its momentum by shaking the pipes.
To silence this slamming, make sure the pipe
runs are well secured every 4 feet and/or
install a capped 12" to 18" vertical pipe
section on both supply lines near the washing
machine. This will trap air and act as a shock
absorber. Cost: $3 to $4 for materials and less
than an hour's labor. Commercial bladder type
water hammer devices are available from building
supply stores usually for $60 and up.
KABOOM when forced-air heat comes on or off. It
may sound like a rerun of independence Day, but
most likely it is the ductwork bulging and
collapsing as the system's air handler comes on
and off. The metal walls of the ducting are
probably too thin and hence aren't strong enough
to resist expanding and contracting with the
associated bass drum noise. Such ducting runs
can often be braced and secured to eliminate
this "oil canning" noise. Cost: Labor.
BRATTATTAT when you slowly open or close a
faucet. Probably caused by a worn valve stem
that vibrates as it is pushed by the first rush
of water between the seat and washer. To cure,
replace the stem. Cost: about $3 for parts and
30 minutes of labor.
TICK TICK TICK inside a wall, usually in a newer
house equipped with plastic drain and waste
water pipes. Many times these plastic pipes are
strapped tightly to the studs inside the wall.
When a dishwasher or similar source discharges
hot water, the pipes expand slightly and scrape
against the wood or strap. To shut off this
"clock," loosen the strap, which sometimes can
be found in the attic. If the pipe is strapped
down too far, however, you will have to cut away
a section of wall or simply get used to the
noise. Cost: labor.
RUMBLE GURGLE POP from the water heater. This is
usually caused by buildup of sediment on the
bottom of the heater tank. The sediment flakes
or bubbles up when the heat cuts on. Stop the
bubbling by draining the tank every 6 months or
so. This techniques won't work for every heater.
If you don't flush out any sediments with the
first 5 gallons of water, forget it. Cost:
Labor.
WHOOM when the gas furnace, oven or water heater
goes on. This is often caused by a dirty burner
that keeps the gas from igniting as it enters
the chamber. Get that burner cleaned, and
quickly! Old furnaces and boilers frequently
suffer from rusty burners that can be brushed or
vacuumed. Be certain to turn the thermostat down
and cut off your service switch, fuse or circuit
breaker before dusting off. Cost: labor, or the
price of a service call from a competent
mechanic.
WHOOMP A BUMP when the oil burner cuts on,
usually accompanied by soot around the burner
and flue areas. This is usually caused by poor
burner adjustment. The problem can be fixed by
your oil supplier or service representative,
under a yearly maintenance contract costing $50
to $75. This service contract is a must for
homes with oil furnaces.
SQUEAK SQUEAK when someone walks on the stairs
or across the floor. Caused by sections of wood
rubbing together or up and down across the nails
that secure them. To silence, tighten the loose
areas by renailing with a "power nailer"
available from tool rental outlets or drill
pilot holes (to avoid cracking the floor) and
drive finish nails into the support timbers
below. If the noisy floor is made of plywood,
roll up the carpeting and renail with resin
coated nails. Cost: labor, or about $16 per day
for a power nailer, plus nails.
HISS HISS from steam radiators. Most likely
caused by steam leaking from the packing in an
inlet valve or (on one-pipe systems) a frozen
air escape valve. Cure by repacking the inlet
valve or replacing the air escape valve. Cost:
about $20 per inlet valve for repacking and
about $6 per air escape valve replacement.
BANG RATTLE CLANG as the heat rises in an old
steam radiator system. Caused by hot steam
meeting cooler pipes or returning water.
Unfortunately, this appears to be the nature of
the beast and should be chalked up to "charm."
ROCK & ROLL from the condominium next door.
Caused by lack of neighborly consideration.
Solve with direct communication or build a false
wall, insulated with fiberglass and caulked at
top, bottom and at any switch or plug plates.
Cost: possible friendship and $300 to $400 per
room.